The Delivery

As most of you probably know. Mom and dad took a couple trips to the hospital over the month of May to “have the baby”. I decided to stay put until last Wednesday. Dad dropped mom off at Grandma Kate’s house in the morning and headed off to work.

Mom assured Grandma that she was fine and that her contractions would just go away and there was no need to go into the hospital again only to be sent home AGAIN. Around 10:00 Grandma took charge and brought mom and me into the hospital where dad was already waiting with my first basketball.

As usual after a couple hours in the hospital mom’s contractions started to fade off. Dr. Savage came in at 1:30 pm and broke mom’s water. Mom and Dad then began to walk the hallways. Dad noticed two little twin girls waiting to see their new little twin brothers and made a comment to mom telling her she should have some twins for him. I think Dad still has a mark on his arm where Mom hit him.

After about 15 minutes of walking the hall we were back in the room and from this point on Mom stopped talking to Dad. For some reason Dad couldn’t understand why Mom didn’t think watching a mother elephant give birth on the discovery channel would help her through this moment in her life.

After about an hour of silence and the mother elephant giving birth to a healthy baby, the nurses came in to check Mom at 3pm. After all the hassle mom had been through earlier in her pregnancy she was just hoping that the nurse was going to tell her that she didn’t needed go home. The nurse however told her that she could start pushing on the next contraction.

Mom didn’t believe her and said “Are you joking?” The nurse assured her that she wouldn’t be alive if she told jokes like that to laboring women. Soon after Mom’s bed was approximately 6ft in the air and Dr. Savage and his nurses began to put on their combat gear. I think I have seen U.S. soldiers in Iraq with less protective equipment on and I think Dad was getting nervous that he didn’t have some kind of helmet or shield with which to protect himself.

The nurses ask Mom and Dad if they know what they are having. Mom tells them its a surprise, but that “dad knows that it is a boy, because he only makes boys.”

Mom began pushing and I started making my way down through the birth canal. While in the birth canal my heart rate dropped way down. Gee I wonder why… try squeezing your entire body through the hole in your toilet and let me know how your heart rate is doing. Now this is where all the years of medical school paid off for Dr. Savage. Here I am in probably one of the most uncomfortable and painful positions of my life and what does he do? He reaches his hand in there and gives me a darn noogy on the top of my head!!! Well of course my heart rate shot up, now instead of just trying to deal with my situation I’m ready to get out there and kick this guy’s butt.

Well about 10 noogies later I get my head out and my right hand is pressed up against the side of my face and I begin to wave to everyone in the room. About 2 seconds later my arm finally gets free and I reach up and grab the Doctors finger and won’t let go. I’m going to give this guy a piece my mind and assure him that if he gives me one more noogy I’m going to have to kick his butt.

Well the rest of me slides out and the doctor lets everyone know that Dad was indeed right. I also figured that now was as good as time as any to make sure the plumbing was working and if Dr. Savage hadn’t been wearing his fully army fatigues I might have been able to get him back for all those noogies.

One Reply to “The Delivery”

  1. Well Jack, I don’t think your parents are aware of this yet being “rookies”, but they are going to be waiting for you a lot in the future. They are going to be waiting for you to finish your vegetables, waiting for you to finish cleaning your room, waiting for you to come out of school after practice, waiting for you to get off the computer, waiting for you to get home, and they will be happy to do it.

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